On 8th June 2010, I Went to Peedam and I had The Divine darshan of Beloved Amma and returned to my home at around midnight. On the morning of 9th June, as usual I went to see the Amma and Mangala Narayani photographs as I normally do as the first Darshan of my morning. To my surprise I saw the Eyes of Mangala Narayani open, I was thrilled and surprised; I called out to my wife Dr. Viji to look at Mangala Narayani without telling her what I saw. She looked and saw the same miracle as me and started crying out of joy.
Few minutes Later my house maid came and we asked her to look as well and she too could see the eyes of Mangala Narayani opened beautifully and with a smile. We all performed Puja and I left to go to my office. In my office I have two Mangala Narayani photos and everyday I offer flowers before I start my work, there also I saw the same miracle of Mangala Narayani; her eyes were open and with a smile. I called my collegues over and all of them were really amazed and some became speechless.
I told my friend and Nadi astrologer about this miracle and he was very happy. He checked the Prasana Nadi for that time and “Oh, my God”, the Nadi leaf has been found and to our surprise and joy the Vasistar Rishi confirmed the Miracle of Beloved Sri Sakthi Amma in the form of Mangala Narayani. I am happily sharing this blessing with everyone and pray to Beloved Amma to give all of us good health and joy to serve Amma in this life and in coming births.
by M. Rajkumar
I just wanted to share with you a lovely Amma health miracle that happened to me. When we arrived here at Peedam in August 2009 I went for the master health check up at the Sri Narayani Hospital & Research Centre. I asked them to add the thyroid test as I had lost about 5kgs in a month, which for me is a lot to lose! That morning while I was in the middle of an ultra sound I hear Jo's voice calling me from behind the screen, "Edo! Amma has called us!" We leave in the middle of the check up and go over for a visit with Amma (it always happens when you least expect it!). Amma asks "Why was Edo at the hospital?" I told Amma and Amma looked me up and down and said "Edo's body and health is perfect". So I am thinking, "Great"; Do I even need to go back and finish the check up"? Since it was all in motion I finished the tests, but I told the doctors no need to worry Amma just said all is perfect (this is the only hospital you can say anything like that to the doctors and they take you seriously!). So the blood tests came back which were taken before the visit with Beloved Amma.
The thyroid levels are sky high, with the hormone levels for T3 and T4 being three times higher than the maximum levels of the normal range and the TSH which is another hormone being three times below normal range - all indicating "hyperthyroidism" meaning my thyroid is over active and such symptoms such as increased metabolism, weight loss, fatigue, anxiety etc can be present. The usual remedy is medication to regulate the hormones (which can take 3-6 months or taking the thyroid out completely and being on hormone medication for life if that doesn't work!) So I knew these tests were done before Amma said my health was perfect but told Amma the results anyway and the response from Amma was "Amma will take care" and gave me a bottle of 'theertum' (Amma's blessed water which has super healing qualities).
After that Jo and I went to Malaysia for a week and upon my return I had an intense 6 day fever which felt like a huge purification. So then I repeated the tests and to the Doctor's amazement or "amma-zement" the T3 levels had normalized and the T4 although still high had dropped dramatically while TSH was still low. The Doctor said without 'medication' this is a huge change in such a short time and that such a drop was indeed a miracle! I asked him what he does when he has a personal problem. He answered: "I think it over, I worry and then I take it to Amma and if Amma says "Amma will take care" it all stops there! That is where faith takes over!! The Doctor instructed me to tell Amma what has happened and that there has been a huge improvement and take one more bottle of theertum from Amma and we will re-test a week from now. I too anxiously wondered what the outcome of the tests would be; Also tell Amma if Amma heals all my patients like this I will be sitting here in an empty clinic idling my time (smile)!" When I told Beloved Amma what the doctor said Amma laughed and gave me another bottle of theertam... Yesterday, I went to get my results and every indicator was within the normal range! Everyone at the hospital was overjoyed! The Doctor said in 21 years of being an ENT specialist he has never seen this happen! Thanks to Amma's divine blessings, Om Namo Narayani!
I had a dream around the 3rd week of January 1999. In my dream, I could see the performance of my father’s death anniversary ceremony. After the ceremony, I saw a young person about 23 years old (whom I have never seen before) coming to my house. The person gave me a tray which contained Thirumangalyam, fruits, thamboolam and an invitation card, saying that it was from’Amma’. In February 1999, I visited Amma at a devotee’s home in Telok Kurau. During the interview (the first time I saw Amma), I quickly realized that Amma was indeed the person I had seen in my dream. I asked Amma if Amma had appeared in my dream. Amma laughed and confirmed that ‘all the auspicious things were given too”. I burst out in tears of joy. About 4 months prior to that, sometime in late 1998 my daughter had a similar dream, in which Sathya Sai Baba came to our house and we were awaiting His darshan. My father’s death anniversary actually took place in Madras on March 4th. The next day Amma visited my home in Singapore for Paada Pooja, just as it happened in my dream two months ago, as well as in my daughter’s dream. We had a small group of people awaiting Amma when Amma arrived at our house. Amma materialized an idol of Swami Ayyappan for my daughter. By a Singapore Devotee
For me my visit with Amma was transformational in allowing me to step into a life of freedom to be me. I was in India that December of the Tsunami. The upheaval in the external world was mirrored by the upheaval that was taking place within me. One morning after Puja, many of us from New York were sitting a small room waiting. We were told that Amma would be seeing people individually. There must have been 40 of us waiting quietly and expectantly, sitting or standing side by side, with not a space unfilled with people. First, Amma called in the couples and the families; then individuals one by one. Some went in looking nervous. All came out of Amma’s room with a different energy. There was light and peace emanating from their being.
There was light and peace emanating from their being. I was excited but also nervous about what I would say. I had had a private audience with Amma before in Calgary and also in Dr. Gaynor’s apartment in New York. Each time I had known before hand what I wanted to say. Please bless my husband, my children, and my close friend who was suffering from a severe form of cancer. Amma had always responded lovingly with “Amma takes care.” This time I had no idea what I wanted to ask of Amma and I was uncomfortable in this place of not knowing. One by one people were called in to see Amma.
The room I was waiting in was slowing getting emptier and emptier. My mind was racing. “I will be the next one.” “Maybe Amma doesn’t want to see me.” “Maybe Amma is angry because I am so fidgety at Puja.” There were only a few people left to be seen. Dr. Gaynor, who with his wife Cathy had been the first ones to be called in, was still sitting in the room. He sat next to me. “How are you doing?” I didn’t know how to respond to this question because if I spoke I was afraid that I would cry. I just nodded my head. Soon I realized that there was no one left but Dr. Gaynor and I. He asked again. I fought to hold back the tears saying “Not so good. I feel that Amma doesn’t like me.” He said something to the effect that Amma doesn’t exist in that world of like and dislike. He may have said something about there will be a gift in what I am experiencing. Amma did call me in. I was the last person but I was not left out. Amma asked me “How is to be Marisa doing?” For the first time, I didn’t lie and say “Fine.” I spoke the truth and there were tears. I told Amma that I felt that she didn’t like me.
I felt that I had done something to offend her. Amma said that I had done nothing wrong and that she loved all her children. When I said that she spent time with other people and less with me, she said that. people needed different things. I took Amma’s words deep into my heart. My mother’s love was conditional and harsh. I grew to believe that people would love me only if I met their expectations and that I could only love myself only if I felt other people’s approval. That day I decided to have Amma guide me and not my mother. I took Amma into my heart and into my life. Instead of asking myself, “Does this person approve of me and what I am doing?” I asked myself if his action is in accordance with Amma’s teachings of integrity, love and service. I began to trust my inner wisdom which came out of God’s consciousness and love. This way of making choices and of perceiving the world became the measure by which I work with my cancer clients. I used to feel as if my mother sat on my shoulder, criticizing what I was doing, and whispering in my ear, “That’s bad. You’re bad. No one likes you”. Now I have Amma sitting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear, “You are love and live your life from that perspective. By Marisa Harris , US.
On June 28th, 2007, I was asked by my partner what I wanted to do on my birthday. I responded with... spend the day with Amma, so that is what we did. During that day, I felt an incredible rush of emotion, love and sorrow. I didn’t know what was going on. That evening, in my exhaustion, Amma looked at me and pierced my soul — never to be the same. Right then, I knew there was much more; I had an uncontrollable thirst to connect to that again, from that point forward, a trip to India was eminent. Little did I know what I would discover after my incredible visit to Peedam and Sripuram and during my upcoming months of rebirth... So much to be unveiled. The presence of Amma in my life has provided me with infinite wisdom, incredible strength and joy beyond my knowing. I feel filled with hope, love, compassion, strength, positive energy, possibility, awareness, internal knowing, higher learning.., and wonderment. I have all and more than I ever asked for. The biggest thing in my life is that I have moved out of my own way to live more fully and completely. I am for the first time in my 46 years, able to fully and completely commit to a life partner... this in itself, is a miracle!! I shout loudly from the heavens above. I am so grateful my love of seven years had the courage and strength to wait for me to “show up”. From this place, I am so blessed and grateful for the continual presence of Amma in my life and all that it represents. With incredible gratitude.... By Kathleen Kloepfer
I used to teach Physics in the School where Amma was a student. A lot of things started happening in the school. One day Amma materialized a lot of vermillion. Another day Amma materialized a red rose and gave it to me and after sometime passed, the rose turned white. Other students used to challenge or tease Amma. Once a student taunted Amma about the miracles and Amma did something and the entire classroom was filled with flowers. After that happened nobody teased Amma. One day the headmaster called Amma and said he had heard that Amma could materialize things and said to Amma, "You must materialize something for me right now." On hearing this Amma materialized a chocolate for the head master who being a science teacher was flabbergasted. After that day he did not say anything to Amma. [After his retirement, the Physics teacher became a devotee of Amma and spends most of his time at the Peedam]
The older brother of Amma, has many memories of his childhood with Amma. He said that Amma was always different from other children. From a very young age Amma did pujas and worshipped the Gods; sitting under a tree or in the puja room. He never paid too much attention to Amma as he thought that Amma was playing with the images. He did not think Amma was serious. From the age of twelve, every Friday Amma used to visit the family house in the Ariyur village to worship the anthill over there. Amma used to go directly from school to Ariyur on a Thursday evening and stay with a neighbour. On Friday morning Amma would worship the anthill and go to school from there. Amma was very devoted but the older brother did not think anything of it then. Many times the rest of the family also followed Amma to worship the anthill.
The older brother used to hear about some of the miracles from the kids in Amma's school but he dismissed them as pranks. When Amma was sixteen, the older brother was in college at Pudukottai. One day the mother phoned the older brother at the college to say that Goddess Narayani had bestowed Amma with divine powers, which have manifested and the whole town was talking about it. The older brother told his mother that it was nonsense. Anyway, when he came back home he did not believe it and told Amma that what Amma did was a gimmick. At that time Amma was chewing a paan (beetle) leaf and told the older brother to put out his hand. The older brother refused but his mother insisted that he must take whatever is being offered to him (by the Goddess) so he put forward his palm only to receive beetle leaf spit. He was told to drink it and he did. To his astonishment, it was sweet milk and not beetle leaf spit. From that day onwards, he stopped questioning and teasing Amma.
When a boy of six, met with a cycle accident in Vellore, he was badly injured and became unconscious for more than thirty minutes. Women standing nearby ran to Amma for help. Amma hurried to the scene and placed a foot on the boy's chest. The boy got up immediately and began to talk as if nothing had happened to him.
A judge, who thought he would not be promoted, got the promotion by the Grace of Narayani Amma. Another judge, who did not get a groom for his daughter for many years, got it within three months with the Grace of Amma.
In Singapore, the devotees got a metal Vigraham (idol) manifested by Amma, to their surprise the Vigraham turned into a Chinese Goddess.
Amma poured something into a Police Officer’s hand and it turned into the famous Thirupathi Laddu.
A poor woman living nearby the Peedam came to Amma for blessings. Amma gave her some neem (margosa) leaves. After a few seconds, the leaves turned into a Mangalyam, the holy jewel which is tied around a bride’s neck at the time of her marriage.
On Tuesday, October 6th, 1998 my husband called me at work saying he wanted to take the family to see and meet a spiritual or holy one. I was a bit hesitant since I usually visit the temple on Tuesdays for Hanuman puja. My husband said, “Do not worry, Hanuman will forgive you.” We went to the home where Amma (the holy one in question) was staying at the time. We were eventually at the top of the line for an interview, only to be told that Amma will not be seeing anyone else until after puja. There was a bit of confusion and perhaps disappointment in my mind. Anyway, we took a seat with the rest of the gathering and for the first time my family and I was able to meet and be blessed with the sight of Om Sakthi Narayani affectionately known to everyone as Amma.
After puja an announcement was made by the hostess that everyone should partake of dinner as per Amma’s instructions. I decided not to eat until I offered the fruits and flowers which I brought as is customary in our culture. The hostess came to say that Amma said that everyone had not eaten and that Amma will not begin interviews until everyone had done so. It then struck me that something mysterious or more powerful than I can comprehend was unfolding. I then had a mouthful of food from my son’s plate. As soon as I had a little, the hostess came to inform our family that Amma was waiting for us. I was overwhelmed since I had never met, heard or read anything of either Amma or the family at which we were at. We then had a private interview, whereby Amma materialized a Saraswathi murti for the family. At this interview Amma said to us that maybe one day Amma will visit our home, words to this day I will never forget despite the fact that Amma did visit our home (Amma's home as Amma quite rightly puts it) two weeks later. Amma has made an indelible impression in all our hearts from that day on and we pray with Amma's blessings and guidance our devotion and faith will grow stronger and sincere with each passing moment. Monday, 1998 October 26th: Amma was at our home (Amma’s home) for paada puja. Amma then asked to see the puja room which I had a "makeshift" one in one of my daughter’s room. Amma informed us that we should have a separate puja room and we explained to Amma why we did not at the time in question. In my mind I was wishing that it would be great if Amma could bless the room which would later be converted into a pray/puja room. Before I knew it Amma asked to be led to that room, and needless to say I was quite embarrassed since I was not fully aware of the tidiness of the room. Amma went to the doorway and looked (blessed the room to my relief).
My heart was overcome with joy and the sense of belonging, belief and faith, which has kept on growing since. Saturday, 1999 October 16th: Last of three days Amma spent at the house, Amma requested that the family come in to speak with Amma and receive darshan before leaving for another devotee’s home. Amma gave me some yellow rice in a thali with instructions that the rice should be wrapped in a yellow cloth and placed in my puja room. I was waiting for one of my own thalis to transfer the rice in when I saw from the corner of my eyes something fall. There was a piece of yellow silk cloth on the floor, I then asked the only two people who were close by if they had dropped "this cloth" or if it had belonged to either of them - it did not. I truly believe that this "yellow cloth" was no mystery, but was given to me by Sri Sakthi Narayani our DEAREST Amma. My experiences and Amma’s love and compassion has kept the family happy and filled with love even in times of anxiety.
The spring of the year 2000 will remain a very memorable time for some fortunate Calgarians, who had the chance to meet our beloved `Amma'. My family and myself consider ourselves extremely lucky to have had the chance to get the divine blessings of `Amma'. I still remember very well, that Thursday evening after leaving our daughter for a dance practice for an up coming show, my husband asked if I would you like to go and see the place where Amma’s puja was occurring. I had heard about the puja and Amma’s visit from a friend who had visited Amma the day before. I said yes and off we went to the home and were surprised to see the number of cars there. We hesitated a bit before entering the compound not knowing what to expect. Our aim was to go and see whether we could arrange for Amma to come to the North Indian Hindu Temple where the Tamil Murugan devotees meet. But when we entered the house it was a great surprise for us to see people of both western and eastern backgrounds dressed in Indian attire and attending a puja. Upon entering the puja area, everyone looked so divine and angelic. We joined in the bhajans and were astounded by everything happening around us. Later on it was time for us to go back and pick-up our daughter from dance-practice. Promising ourselves that we'll definitely return the next day, we left. The next day was Friday, being a working day my husband decided to drop me at the place where Amma was staying and go to work. When we arrived we saw some of our Sai devotee friends and we went and joined them in singing bhajans.
My husband then decided to stay for a short time and then leave. After some time, for the first time we saw Amma coming and later doing the puja we saw Amma again. For me this was the most wonderful thing that happened in Canada. With great devotion we were able to participate in a puja performed in Tamil. In Calgary we miss participating in a puja in the Tamil language. We do not have a Tamil restaurant, no theatres to show Tamil movies, no temples and no shops for Tamils. The only Tamil here is inside Tamil houses, or our monthly Sri Murugan Society gatherings. It was a big pleasant surprise here for the Tamil speaking Calgarians when we read in the newspaper about Amma’s arrival in Calgary. Later on I found out that my husband felt the same and took time off work to stay and participate in the rest of the puja. We went home contented and decided to take our daughter also and go for the evening puja. Our daughter doesn't even speak Tamil and has never been to our native country. I was surprised to see her getting so involved in Amma’s puja and stayed till 11:30pm. The next day, Saturday, brought a turning point in my life.
The three of us again went to meet Amma and after the morning puja we took our numbers to get an interview with Amma. Our number was 49 and we heard people saying that Amma will not see more than 25 people. Anyhow, we decided to wait and a friend of ours gave us, her number 46 because her husband got 43. Towards evening around 4:30 we were blessed by an interview with Amma. That was the most loving and kind eyes Amma had and Amma's sweet, charming smile and the blessings given by Amma was like, a welcoming rain in the desert, to our hearts. Each of us was blessed by Amma with vibhuti, kumkumam and yellow rice and a beautiful smiling picture of Amma. That day we came home and talked and talked about Amma. The next day which was, Sunday, we did not go to see Amma since the crowd was increasing day by day and thought that we should let others get a chance to see Amma. After meeting Amma, our family started to light an oil lamp at our puja place and pray. When I met Amma, my daughter and husband decided to tell Amma about a medical condition I have.
When Amma heard about it Amma took some vibhuti in one hand, covered it with the other hand, prayed for a while with eyes closed and gave it to me saying that I should be all right. When I heard that I really believed that I'll get better. Three days later, while I was getting ready to attend Amma’s morning puja, I noticed that I could open and close my fingers. Arthritis had affected some of my joints and my left-hand finger joints were the worst affected parts resulting in me not being able to open and close my fingers. I could not believe it. I ran all over the house, I screamed with joy and then phoned my husband. I could make a fist now! Next time when we got a chance to meet Amma, we told Amma about my hand. Amma said, `It is all faith! If you do anything with faith it will happen.' I am a living proof that miracles can happen if you believe in it. After two days Narayani Amma left Calgary. The last day we were sad and felt that a part of our selves was leaving us. It rained heavily with thunder and lightning. Amma left, leaving us longing for the next visit. By the grace of Narayani Amma I am getting better day by day and some day will be able to do everything like a normal person.
My family has great faith in Amma and I believe because of our faith, in the near future we will have the opportunity to be able to visit Narayani Amma in India. In the mean time Amma dwells in our hearts and helps and guides us in our day to day life. We wish you a very Happy Birthday our beloved Amma.
This young man lives in Toronto and is a devout devotee of Amma. He performs daily pujas at his tiny apartment, sings bhajans and recites mantras all in the name of Narayani Amma. Naturally, whenever Amma visits Toronto, he will be there to worship and serve Amma. He has a small job, which doesn't pay him well, but allows him ample free time to do Amma’s service. Last May, he got word from Amma’s devotees in Toronto that Amma was going to visit Calgary for 15 days. Initially it was believed by everyone that Amma would stop in Toronto on the way to Calgary and he was pretty excited to be able to be with his beloved Amma. As the days for Amma’s visit approached, it was learnt that Amma would not be stopping in Toronto but would go straight to Calgary. He was crushed! His friends consoled him and suggested to him that he could go to Calgary and still be with his beloved Amma. But, he had no money to travel! His meagre paying job did not give him enough money for such luxuries. So, he intensified his praying.
He would stand in front of Amma’s picture with tears blurring his vision and streaming down his cheeks, begging for Amma’s blessing so that he could go to Calgary to be with Amma. And, he did not see any way to achieve his desired goal. His friends would ask him often if he was getting ready for the trip and he would reply with a heavy heart that he wasn't due to the lack of resources. One of his friends happens to be an Amma devotee. The day before Amma was going to arrive in Calgary, this friend called him and asked him if he wasn't packing his bags for the Calgary trip. He thought that it was a cruel joke and told the caller so. But his friend only laughed and said to him, "My dear friend, don't worry about money. You are flying to Calgary at Amma’s expense. So pack your bags and be at my place ASAP to go the airport!" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He thanked his friend, hung up the phone and dashed towards Amma’s picture. Oh! that bewitching smile of Amma almost choked him.
So he arrived in Calgary and found himself surrounded by Amma’s devotees all of whom seemed to enjoy the good companionship and the fellowship with the Beloved Amma. He also missed something! His taste buds were salivating for Kheer, a rice and almond dessert made with milk. He was very sure that very soon Amma’s cooks will make it to be shared among all the devotees. But nothing happened! So, after waiting in vain for a few days, he decided to ask one of the cooks. He thought that he would out-smart them by suggesting that they ought to make Kheer for Amma’s consumption.
The lady agreed. Amma, out of the boundless kindness and love for the new devotees in Calgary, had set up a routine whereby Amma will be surrounded by at least 15 to 20 devotees during the meals which Amma would share with them. He usually did not take part in such gatherings as he would be busy elsewhere doing service. On the day after he made that suggestion to one of Amma’s cooks, Amma was having lunch as usual with very many devotees sitting around and enjoying the prasadham (Holy offering). Suddenly, Amma told one of the devotees who was in the room to go and get him. The devotee went downstairs looking for him, but he was busy doing seva (service). The devotee indicated to him that he was needed in Amma’s room and he promised to get there as soon as his task was completed.
The devotee returned to Amma’s room and reported to Amma that he would be there as soon as his current task had been completed. Amma continued eating and sharing the food and there was no sign of him. Finally, Amma finished lunch and washed up. The devotee's heart sank feeling for the poor guy thinking that he missed sharing from Amma’s food. After Amma washed up, Amma picked up a cup that contained Amma's dessert and at that moment in he came. As customary, he prostrated in front of Amma and sat down. Amma tasted just one spoonful of the drink from the cup and then called him, handed him the cup and told him to enjoy the Kheer that he wanted so much. How did Amma know? Did the cook tell? The cook swears to this day that she hadn't!
I just finished my undergraduate studies at McMaster University in Hamilton. During the four years of study, I was fortunate to have had financial help from various sources so I could live away from my family who insisted that I quit studying and got married instead. Applications for financial assistance were routinely approved during the first three years and I was humming along very nicely in my studies. Then, in my final year, disaster struck in the form of a new Financial Director for the University. Claiming that my family lived in the same area as the University, the Director refused to approve my application for financial aid. He said that I ought to live with my family and not at a University residence.
I told him that had I stayed with my parents, I wouldn’t be able to continue my studies. He still refused. But, University regulations allow a student to appeal any unfavorable financial decisions. I took upon this opportunity and appealed twice. Both were turned down by the same man. I had one more chance and I was getting desperate. I knew that if things did not change any, the same man would refuse my third and last appeal and I had to go back home to get married! When my friend noticed how desperate I was, he suggested that I surrender all my financial troubles at Narayani Amma’s feet. I was so lucky that Amma was visiting Toronto at that time. This friend and I went to see Amma and poured out my griefs at Amma's smiling form. Amma smiled kindly and said, “Don’t worry anymore.
Amma will take care of your problems. You will successfully complete your studies.” I came back to the residence feeling very assured and sent in my last written appeal. As the day of the hearing of the appeal neared, I felt more and more nervous, but intensified my prayers to Amma. And, when I went to the hearing, the Director informed me that a new female faculty member will join us during the hearing. I didn’t care who joined or not, I just wanted a positive response. Apparently the new Faculty member had already been briefed about my application, because she did not ask or say anything during the entire hearing.
She just sat there looking kindly at me and smiling confidently. “Who was this woman?”, I started to wonder. “And, why is she smiling at me without saying anything?” I was in a daze when the Director informed me later that my appeal had been successful and my financial aid would be restored to its original status. Did the new Faculty member have any part in this favorable decision? And, who was she? I never saw her again on campus! My friend insists that Amma came in human form to help one of the children in need. And, I believe him one-hundred-percent. Om Sakthi.
On the evening of Tuesday May 30th, 2000, I had the great privilege of having an interview with Narayani Amma after Amma conducted the beautiful puja service in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. During my interview with Amma, I was so much at ease. It seemed like I had been reunited with someone I had dearly loved for a long, long time. Amma gave me the most brilliant and beautiful smile. There was so much love and divine energy in the room. Amma’s eyes were filled with love, Amma's nature, Amma's whole being was LOVE. Amma very lovingly asked me my name, although I am sure Amma knew. Amma looked into my eyes and said, “What do you want?” I replied, “Amma, all I want is your love and blessings and with God’s grace may I do everything right in life.” Amma was laughing playfully and Amma affirmed, “You will do everything right in life and you have my blessings.” Then Amma asked, “What do you do?”
I was a little startled and I asked whether Amma wanted to know what I did in my personal life or what my profession was. Amma said, “Your profession.” I told Amma about the Corporate Organization I work for and my position in this organization. I also told Amma that I was not very happy in this department and wanted to move on to another area. Amma said, “Be patient, everything will work out.” Amma is so playful and so sweet, Amma is full of love. I asked Amma to autograph a picture for me. Amma gladly obliged and said, “Get me a pen.” A young man was standing outside Amma’s room and I asked him for a pen. I took it to Amma, Amma looked at it, smiled and said, “This is a pencil, I need a pen.” So I went to the young man again and this time he gave me a pen. I gave it to Amma, but it would not write because the picture was glossy. Amma laughed and said, “Get a marker, it would work better.” So this time I asked the young man for a marker. He gave me a marker which I gave to Amma. Amma nodded this time and signed "Amma"on one of the pictures for me.
Amma signed “With Love, Amma". I was allowed to touch Amma's lotus feet, Amma blessed me and I left Amma's room feeling elated and loved. When Amma was leaving Calgary, I said to Amma, “Amma you have stolen my heart, when will you come again.” Amma said, “Amma is with you always, Amma is not going anywhere, call on my name and I am with you always.” I said to Amma, “Amma, I know you are with me in spirit always, but when can we see your human form again in Calgary.” Amma, started to laugh and Amma would not tell me when. Instead Amma blessed me and handed me a flower. During my time in meditation, whenever I am contemplating along with the Supreme Being I believe in, Amma too comes in my thoughts. I know Amma is with me always. Amma is ever protecting and guiding me.
These stories have already been written. From the first letter, I know it's with us, even as we start to write. The matter is simply to set it out so that it can be understood. I have become aware that all the events in life are planned - it's all there, laid out only awaiting the eventual acting out, in time, as God wishes. These stories are part of our relationship to God - told before countless times, in countless ages, with as many hues and subtleties as a rainbow. Bequeathed to us in all of our collected ancient books of wisdom - the Vedas and the Upanishads, the New Testament of Christianity, the Talmud of Judaism, and the books of the Bahias, Buddhists, Confucianism, Islam, Sikhism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism amongst many others and those that have been long forgotten. This particular story is to be written by many people in this graced age.
Graced because of the wonder of the appearance of God, yet cursed because of the cause of the occurrences of God. This story will be witnessed in the future and be told again, countless times, to the ends of times. My own reasons for writing of my experiences are several folds. As I wondered how to share Amma's presence in my life I thought it might be better to leave this written work to someone else; someone with more experience at life and at writing and a real in depth knowledge of the Hindu faith. I thought it would be best for me to participate, experience and enjoy my faith process without the duty of recording it and sharing with others. As I saw and learned I realized I needed a way to sort through all my experiences so that I could understand them. I had to write them down, organize and sift through everything so that I could understand the meaning. I have not until now considered myself a writer; a photographer, yes, a businessman, certainly, but not a writer. As I start to write I conclude there is no topic I would more prefer to write of - my personal relationship with God. One of my many thoughts was that I would undertake this task as my gift to God and to be shared with others.
A gift to God!; maybe more as a small token of my astonishment of God's real, tangible presence. As I sift through and organize my thoughts for this story I now realize this is God's gift to me - in God's subtle ways, the information I am sharing is the journey to the fulfillment of my own faith in understanding God. My soul search is my offering to God. I know divinity will engage me and guide me to complete my part of this honour. I always wonder where this particular path will lead me. Narayani Amma's presence in my life enriched my faith in God so much I started a dialogue with Father Robert Smith, a Roman Catholic priest at my home parish in Ottawa. Amma's wisdom is offered through the rich history and environment of Hinduism and often I remember my talks with Amma and interpret them through fresh reading of The Bible. As well I often interpret the Bible through Amma's wisdom. There is no question to me my faith has grown through Narayani Amma's presence in my life.
I have come to believe that the word of God is omnipresent and no different when spoken through Christ and the disciples as it is spoken today. I believe whether we are aware or not that we all are involved in an event of truly historic proportions. The appearance of an Avatar is a rare event, occurring in intervals of thousands of years and always becoming part of a culture's sacred heritage; in any culture. It's happening right now for those who reach to touch it. Narayani Amma's appearance as an Avatar is unique; this is the first time Amma has taken Form this way. It is a story completely foreign to my North American culture and psych. To embrace the reality that God presently walks amongst us - in person - with names – in this age - how can I describe this? A God whose outward form we can see, talk to and touch if we are permitted. Miracles that can be seen, now! I am hopeful these stories will be valuable to those who are approaching God - as God approaches us all.
I met Amma again in Scarborough, Toronto and my fiancée and I were both invited to Amma's Peedam in India to celebrate Amma's birthday on January 3rd, 2000. We were planning our wedding in February of 2000 followed by our honeymoon in Australia. We decided that Amma's invitation and hospitality would be a perfect opportunity to visit India and changed our travel plans at the last moment for a visit in February. I had asked Amma if Amma would marry us when I met with Amma in Ottawa and Amma had graciously agreed. We arrived via London on February 8th, 2000 as guests at Om Sakthi Narayani Siddhar Peedam, Amma's Peedam, east of Vellore in Southern India. Upon arrival, Amma said Amma would tell us the day of our wedding and, on February the 13th, Amma selected February 17th as our wedding day.
We learned later that was an auspicious date for weddings and many people were married that day in India. Even though we had brought some wedding dress from Canada, we were told that all arrangements would be made for us. We were asked to be ready early in the morning on the 17th and in due time I was whisked away to be dressed, as was my fiancée. When we met again later on in the morning we hardly recognized each other - I with my Maharajah's cap, mala and wedding attire and my fiancée in her elaborate make-up, jewelry and a gorgeous silk Sari; all by the gracious gift of Amma. Our wedding procession started, complete with a 3 member band, friends from Canada, America and the Peedam, and school children from Amma's school. We were guided by - everyone - through our wedding.
There was no rehearsal and we were helped through blessing after blessing until we were seated in front of Amma. We were married by early afternoon and celebrations finally concluded about midnight. Our marriage by Amma has created a really amazing spiritual connection between my wife and me. The connection is so strong it has the strength of a physical attachment – even though it's a spiritual one. When we are physically separated, she is always right beside me and our relationship between ourselves and with God strengthens daily.
I am an amateur photographer. For many years I have been interested in cultural heritage and, in fact, have volunteered with The Museum of Civilization in Ottawa to photograph many of the cultural events that the museum hosts. With this keen interest, I have tried to capture on film as much of Amma's activities as possible whenever possible. While we were in India we were granted access to sites that usually were forbidden to photographers. While Amma was visiting Calgary in May 2000 I became fascinated by Amma's relationship to Narayani. I was trying to understand exactly what it meant and photographed Narayani often during and after many Pujas. During the Bathing Puja, Amma was pouring milk over the 1 foot high Narayani statue which gave Narayani a slightly milky, golden hue. As I viewed through the lens that hue spread to become an all-encompassing feeling. The feeling was like the taste of the sweetness of honey. It was presented as an absolute fact that the sweetness radiated from Narayani and fed into the world. I have heard in the Bible about the sweetness of God's presence and I believe I more fully understand that truth through Narayani. Whenever I contemplate God, the sweetness of that vision stays with me always.
During the latter part of April 2000 and for the first week in May, before I had heard anything about Amma, I had unusual dreams. One dream was that I was in a line of people waiting to meet a holy person (who, I recorded, looked kind of like a young Fidel Castro!). Another very vivid dream centreed around a black cow. So it felt familiar when I saw the photo of Amma with a black cow on the small poster Amma gave out. During that same time I had unusual waking experiences also. I was told about Amma and Amma's visit on May 9th or 10th and things began to fit together. I felt unprepared and anxious when I met Amma, so I think that time was not as rich as it might be now. During the time with Amma, Amma closed the eyes and seemed to meditate for a minute or two before answering a question I had asked, and I felt a real longing to be able to just stay with Amma. There were many feelings; I loved the easiness and of Amma's laughter and Amma's wonderful eyes. I was drawn back to the pujas. One in particular, when I was standing in a side doorway very close to Amma, I could see the fire reflected in Amma's face and the grace of Amma's movements was very unforgettably beautiful.
I found myself feeling hopeful about and not wanting to miss Amma's talks. One of them, on Karma, had such clarity, strength and gentleness, I did not want it to end. I wondered how it could be that all of us had not known all of this, always! I wished for longer talks and for more of them! Now, long after Amma’s stay in Calgary, I continue to have a feeling of longing and all the dreams I have now seem to be connected. I think about things Amma said in the talks, about questions Amma asked me when I met Amma that I did not know how to answer, and about feelings I had and did not have. I feel strongly re-directed and I am very grateful for Amma's visit to Calgary.
I felt like my heart had been kissed by an Angel. I used to suffer from chronic fatigue and several different doctors offered different diagnosis with zero results. Shortly after the trip to Calgary to see Amma, I had an appointment with a herbalist who correctly diagnosed the illness as a mere B12 deficiency! Thank you, Amma. I now realize that healing comes in many different ways – Amma’s love is one of those ways. I feel wonderful and my experiences with Amma have added a layer of love in my life.
Narayani Amma has been part of my meditations and healing practice since 1999 December. For me, it was a wonderful honour to be in the physical presence of Amma. I was undergoing some traumatic health challenges at that time and was unable to walk. After meeting with Amma and being blessed with vibhuthi, I have found a big difference in the healing process. For this, I am eternally grateful. The experiences with Amma have reinforced my trust and faith in the Universe. I also find that I have inner strength and courage to move forward with my life. I find it easier to surrender, knowing that I do not have to fight every battle and that Amma will take care.
Meeting Narayani Amma has given me an insight into what enlightenment is. At the first house I went to see Amma, we couldn’t get a seat in the room where the puja was going to be held, so we sat in an adjoining room. I was caught up in my own emotions and wasn’t really connecting to what was happening. I did manage to catch a glimpse of Amma as Amma passed through the crowd, but there was so much commotion that I did not feel Amma's presence. We sat and chanted, but I wasn’t really connected to what was taking place. Then Amma began speaking through the interpreter. Amma talked of the different types of love - animal, human and divine.
It was as if Amma was speaking directly to me because that was the issue I had been struggling with. The Universe was teaching me this concept and my fear of loving this way and letting go of the old way was causing me much pain. After Amma's talk, I felt lighter. I contemplated what was said and realized that divine love would bring true joy and happiness into my life. I know that it will take time to move up into that love, but I am confident that with practice I will get there. The next time I saw Amma was at the celebration at the University.
This time when Amma entered the room, I was very moved by the power of Amma's presence and the love that emanated. I love watching Amma laugh. It is as if Amma's whole body is laughing. My next experience was at a different house than the first one. We spent the whole day there. I felt much more relaxed and ready to absorb what was happening. The puja was more powerful to me although I still was not as mindful as I wanted to be. What truly amazed me was the level of giving that was taking place. I was moved with the realization that Amma is here to give to us, 24 hours a day. I was given a new insight into the meaning of the word giving. My heart began to pound as someone announced that Amma would be meeting with people. I had thoughts of being unworthy and that I wasn’t at the right level spiritually to meet Amma.
I had thoughts that Amma would see right through me to my unworthiness. Luckily, I was able to push these thoughts aside so as not to plunge into my fear. I stood in the line with the others and constantly reminded myself that we are all in our paths and no one is better or worse than the other. Then it was my turn. I was nervous and my heart was pounding. Amma looked at me and smiled. I knelt down and took the holy water in my hand and made a big slurping noise drinking it. I felt foolish. Amma smiled. The energy in the room was beautiful. Amma asked me what Amma could do for me.
I looked away. I told Amma that I had pain in my heart chakra and that I found it difficult to give or receive love. Amma told me that I would be healed through service. Amma tied a string around my wrist. As Amma did this, I asked Amma, “What kind of service?” Amma's body shook with joyful laughter. I felt very loved at that moment. Amma looked at me and said, “Service to humanity. Amma will lead.” The smile on my face as I thanked Amma must have reached from one end of the room to the other. I floated out of the room and was filled with a beautiful energy. I finally felt connected to what was taking place. That evening’s puja had a new meaning to me. Amma spoke of the importance of teaching children reverence for God. I knew then that I needed to talk more about God to my thirteen year old daughter.
We are not part of a traditional religion, but now, when I am tucking her in I remind her to thank God for the blessings. We have had great conversations about God. About a week after Amma left, I was given a gift. I dreamt that I was given enlightenment. I could feel what it was to be truly above emotions and attachments, and to be in pure joy. I have a new understanding of what the struggle is for. I am so grateful to all the people who worked so hard to bring Amma to Calgary. I am also grateful to Amma for all of Amma's wonderful gifts.
My first contact with Amma occurred in October, 1998. While I was visiting my son in Toronto, a family friend suggested that we should go for dharshan of a spiritual person who was visiting from India. So, I took my family to the house where Amma was staying. We waited patiently for Amma's dharshan and a private audience. When we entered Amma’s room, we immediately sensed that we were in a very special presence. Amma was patient answering my families’ questions, sharing divine wisdom and infectious laughter. Amma blessed our happy hearts with some fragrant vibuthi that Amma manifested and we went home happily.
We had the pleasure of seeing Amma several times over the next few days. We had one wish – the honour of hosting Amma at our humble household in Calgary. Amma promised that Amma would come to Calgary to satisfy the spiritual yearnings of several of the devotees and in May, 2000, Amma delivered on the promise. In addition to being part of the organizing committee, I was given the honour of being one of five hosts for that visit. Even though there was a tremendous amount work involved in hosting such an event, we never felt fatigue as Amma’s abundant energy was flowing through all of us. Even the visitors who came to our houses commented on the remarkable level of energy that they sensed. During Amma’s 25-days stay in Calgary, we witnessed several miracles. We saw people who were wheelchair-bound gain enough strength through their meeting with Amma, to begin to amble once again. We came across people who, after meeting Amma, gained a sense of clarity and perspective about their life.
It was amazing to see the number of people that assembled to see Amma who were at a crossroad in their lives, and afterwards have an awareness of the direction they were to take. Some people, after having gained a personal audience with Amma, came out crying as if they had a release and became free from some of the emotional bonds that weighed them down. This phenomenon occurred even in young children. Others remarked on how Amma would be able to answer questions that were on their minds even before they had a chance to vocalize them.
A few people commented that Amma was aware of the things about them or their pasts without any disclosure from them. Everyone, however, noted that there was a sense of peace throughout the house, especially during Amma’s pujas. One of most anticipated feature of Amma’s daily rituals were Amma's discourses in which Amma would discuss a typical situation about life and spirituality. In these discourses Amma took seemingly complex life situations and convey them in simple terms to the audience. After each session, people would talk amongst themselves about the wisdom that Amma had just shared. All of the topics were relevant to the current life styles and even though they applied to society in general, most people felt as if Amma was talking directly to them, and they all looked forward to Amma’s next discourse.
In the time that we have known Amma, we have experienced a spiritual awakening and a higher level of consciousness. We feel privileged that Amma stayed at our house (which in reality IS Amma’s house as Amma would rightly point out!) and we feel blessed. We are very grateful to Amma.
My family and I went to pay our humble salutations to Amma while Amma was visiting Calgary in May, 2000. The lady who was in charge of preparing Amma’s meals wanted to make paayaasam for Amma but did not have any Cream of Wheat in that household. Since we had a vehicle (we drove from Regina), she asked us to buy some Cream of Wheat at a grocery store. We bought the item, went back to the house for one last visit with Amma and left the house forgetting that we had the item to deliver.
We drove back to Regina and while unloading our van my husband discovered the package of Cream of Wheat. I felt so guilty! I prayed silently for Amma’s forgiveness and made a silent vow to offer Amma some paayaasam as soon as possible. Every Friday, we hold special bhajans in our house. For the one that fell on the Friday following our Calgary trip, I opened the Cream of Wheat package, washed its contents very carefully and made the paayaasam that should have been prepared in Calgary days earlier.
While praying, we offered it in front of Amma’s picture and I again begged Amma to forgive me for my forgetfulness. After the bhajans were done, we looked in the paayaasam container and then stared at it with open bewilderment. In it was floating one tiny orange yarn that could have come from Amma’s lap cloth! Did Amma actually follow us to get the paayaasam that was owed to Amma? We will never know. When my brother mentioned this to Amma in a later visit, Amma laughed merrily and informed him that Amma lives in our house (Amma’s house as Amma rightly points out) always.
My husband is an ardent devotee of Lord Murugan. During the month of November, all Murugan’s devotees observe a special six-day fasting in the name of the Lord. The rituals vary among devotees, but my husband was very particular that he followed his own rituals which consisted of semi-fasting the first 5 days and full fasting on the sixth. We are fortunate to have the privilege of hosting Amma whenever Amma visited Canada. Amma happened to be staying at our house during that year’s Murugan fasting festival.
My husband tirelessly served Amma, but he also maintained his fasting schedule. So, on the sixth day, he went without food for the whole day and by midnight still hadn’t eaten anything. Amma usually asks the devotees if they had had their meals. When Amma asked my husband, he told Amma that because it was the termination of his fasting, he must bathe first and then only eat food that was freshly prepared. Amma figured it would take at least a couple of hours before this devotee could eat again and Amma couldn’t bear the thought of this devotee starving even for that long. Amma asked me to bring some rice and curries in a bowl. When I did, Amma mixed them up, rolled the rice into a tennis-ball like orb and handed it to my husband.
My husband, not wanting to break his own ritual, humbly refused. Amma asked for an explanation. How could he tell Amma that he did not want to break one of his own (silly) rituals against Amma’s offering? So, he fibbed blaming it on Lord Murugan. He said that Lord Murugan would not forgive him if he broke his ritual on the last day. Amma laughed and persuaded my husband to take a bite of the rice ball insisting that Lord Murugan will understand. When he did, his teeth clicked on something metallic inside the rice ball. Alarmed with fear, he dispersed the rice ball. What did he see?, a smiling Murugan statue with His bestowing hand showing “fear-not!”
When Amma visited New York City in the fall of 2000, I was lucky to be with Amma and serve Amma throughout the stay. Just before that trip, I had acquired a digital cell phone, which I happily handed over to Amma for personal use. Amma gave out that cell phone’s number to all the devotees all over the world and to the workers at the Peedam in India. Needless to say, that phone was very heavily used for both making and receiving calls most of them were of the International variety.
My brothers warned me that unless I put a cap on its usage, I could end up with a huge bill at the end of the month from the cell phone service provider. I reminded them that all our money is Amma’s money and if I had to part some of it to the service provider, so be it! Amma left for India after a wonderful 16 days’ stay in Canada and in the USA and I returned home a very happy man. I had also noticed an anomaly in the phone’s capability.
We could dial overseas calls on that phone while we were in NYC, but couldn’t do it as soon as we entered Canada. So, I phoned the service provider to ask them to fix it. “What is your phone #?” they asked. When I told them, their reply was, “Never heard of it. It is not in our computer system.” I then gave them the phone’s ESN and also the contract# that I had gotten from them. Their answer to all of this? “Never heard of it!” So far, I haven’t received a bill from any one! So I did not have to pay a huge telephone bill as my brothers had warned. Did Amma fix their computer? We all believe that Amma had a hand in this mystery.
Thank you, Amma.